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He ruined the endings of TV shows, some of which haven’t been made yet. He reminded me to shovel the snow in July.
Romantic pressure systems are likely to develop in the coming weeks and residents are encouraged to remain calm, plan ahead, and avoid unnecessary exposure.
Life is never blue when I’m with you. P.S. What’s blue?
We are an innovative industry leader that thrives on teamwork, dedication, and low-key sexual energy.
I hope you’re walking somewhere along the western coast of the United States and that you find this bottle before our wedding on Thursday.
7:00 A.M.: Threw away my eye patch. Since I no longer have alcohol-induced optic neuropathy in my left eye I “SEE” no sense in keeping it.
Will everyone agree that getting your hand stuck in the toilet actually a really common occurrence?
Regarding Alert 4, "Hurricane Steve Who Can't Keep It In His Pants" will not make landfall anytime soon.
The tattoos on our baristas do not rub off with a wet rag and those are actually real live septum piercings. If you don’t believe us, give one a tug.
But this time we’re producing our biggest blockbuster yet—our sweet, precious nepo baby!
Have you ever considered capitalization? NO. i mean
What should I do? If that dish is untouched at the end of the night they'll link it back to me and never invite me to a potluck again.