Are there intelligent life forms out there in the universe? Well yeah. No one’s visited us yet.
Early to bed, early to rise, makes people smug, annoying and unnecessarily enthusiastic.
No, Slender James is my father. Please, call me Slim Jim.
Wow, coral, fish, AND crabs—sounds biodiverse as hell. Whatcha gonna call it? The… “sunlight zone”?
If your therapist asks you whether Jason is your father, calmly explain that he’s your college friend’s old roommate.
Judicial combat is a seminal moment and, with a record of 22-0 (humans) and 1-1 (trumpeter swan, with rematch), you’ve come to the right person for advice!
That’s when Cookie Monster start to wonder, who real monster…
I come downstairs and kiss my wife, Taylor Swift, and ruffle the hair of my son, Taylor Swift.
My metaphysical hands are tied. It’s up to the collective hearts and minds of all that have been, that are, and that have yet to be.
John feels that trick questions on standardized tests are A) Necessary, B) Vexing, C) Forgromulent, or D) A word we made up just to trick John?
Are there intelligent life forms out there in the universe? Well yeah. No one’s visited us yet.
Early to bed, early to rise, makes people smug, annoying and unnecessarily enthusiastic.
No, Slender James is my father. Please, call me Slim Jim.
The main characters will be named Tad, Morglee, Suppa, and Caldwater. They are all incredibly hot but still unpleasant to look at.
I said similar color blocks. No, SIMILAR color! What the hell, are you stupid or something?
We regret to inform you we won't be able to offer you a position at this time. We'll always wonder what could have been.
Our menu? Menu…. Oh, the "menu"! Yes, sorry, didn’t follow what you meant at first. We can’t remember the last time someone actually asked for that.
The main characters will be named Tad, Morglee, Suppa, and Caldwater. They are all incredibly hot but still unpleasant to look at.
I said similar color blocks. No, SIMILAR color! What the hell, are you stupid or something?
For every barrel of oil sold, a mid-level sales associate enters a tally mark into a Google spreadsheet.