I’m a big fan of your troupe’s silly make-em-ups. But a fella can only be overlooked for so long without starting to take it personal.
I, Your Ratty Underwear, give my consent to die a natural death.
For the first time in 1,500 years, the world’s most iconic board game is getting an update, thanks to the new subscription-based platform, Chess+™
I know your coach said it doesn’t matter if you win or lose. Your coach has obviously never been up to his asshole in debt for betting on collegiate air hockey.
Fun with rhyme! Example: Mark. Okay, “Mark” rhymes with “Clark.” So now all you have to do is remember the name Clark.
Speaking of, I’ve been thinking about playing some Allman Brothers at the rehearsal dinner. But I might need a little lead time to learn the solo.
Choose a select body part for coverage. Options may include*: arm (1 only), leg (1 only), eye (1 only), lip (1 only), tongue, neck, forehead, or skin (maximum 1 square ft section).
Some people are afraid of artificial intelligence. I think they should be more afraid of natural stupidity.
Why don’t aliens wear clothes? Because it’s always dark in space.
My therapist diagnosed me with narcissistic personality disorder. That must have been the highlight of her week.
For me, a fresh excel sheet offers endless promise. A blank deck is the root of inspiration.
What are thoughts? A better question might be, What isn’t a thought? A basketball, for example?
I gotta have more treats, Benji. I’m fiendin’ for it. You getting a paper cut will not be enough.
When life gives lemons, make sure to offer those to the Mothman in hopes the tart treat will placate his impulsive desires.
