Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
I Love Golf!
Focus, Bob. Just you and the ball. Crap. Fore!
Articles
A Psalm of David, On Hold for Customer Service
O Lord, I called upon the sacred number, as it was written on the back of my card.
I’m Ethan Allen, and I Am More than Just a Craftsman of Fine Home Furnishings
As we prepare to celebrate our great nation’s Sestercentennial, it behooves me to make it known that I am not merely a Raymour or Flanigan.
Creative Ways to Hide Your Mouth from Your Date While Eating Tacos
Obviously, not eating tacos isn’t an option, so here’s some helpful ways to hide your undignified devouring.
How Dare You Question Why I Ponder This Orb!
I don’t let my face betray what I’m beholding because I’m a pro, and I like to maintain an air of mystery, but sometimes it’s just like, yeesh.
I Attend Your Improv Show Every Week, and You Have Never Once Taken My Suggestion of “Cedar Bluffs, Nebraska”
I’m a big fan of your troupe’s silly make-em-ups. But a fella can only be overlooked for so long without starting to take it personal.
Rush Week for Moms: Join a Book Club!
Alpha Alpha Alpha: If you are an ambitious woman looking to give 110%—or more—to a book club, we are the place for you. We have rules.
My Novel Packs a Ton of Crucial Backstory About the Protagonist’s Mother Into a Scene Where He Buys Chewing Gum
Hank nodded and muttered the word to himself: “Okay.” It was the same word Mama had used months before it happened...
DNR for My Old Underwear
I, Your Ratty Underwear, give my consent to die a natural death.
I’ve Got a Lot of Money Riding on This Peewee Soccer Game
I know your coach said it doesn’t matter if you win or lose. Your coach has obviously never been up to his asshole in debt for betting on collegiate air hockey.
Son, I Don’t Care What You Want, I’m Playing Guitar at Your Wedding
Speaking of, I’ve been thinking about playing some Allman Brothers at the rehearsal dinner. But I might need a little lead time to learn the solo.
Introducing the “Choose Your Most Important Body Part” Health Insurance Plan
Choose a select body part for coverage. Options may include*: arm (1 only), leg (1 only), eye (1 only), lip (1 only), tongue, neck, forehead, or skin (maximum 1 square ft section).