Finally, a Rotten Tomatoes-style app that rates something useful: the live nativity performances put on by the churches in your neighborhood at Christmas time!

Say bye-bye to the days of crossing your fingers and hoping the nativity you settled on taking your family to will use authentic hay in the manger—with a quick glance at our local nativity reviews you can see for yourself whether that hay is artificial, and rest easy knowing you didn’t load the kids into the minivan only to be met with crushing disappointment.

Download “A Pilgrim’s Weighty Choice” from the App Store today, and start browsing ratings on a scale of “Crucified” (terrible) to “Risen” (fantastic). Everything you need to know about that one live nativity you’ve had your heart set on ever since you saw the homemade posters go up in mid-November is only a swipe away. Like you, we know it's impossible to resist the beckon of a combination of low-res silhouettes of the Three Wise Men, a print-out picture of a stinging star, hand-drawn cartoon camels, AND Comic Sans inscriptions on one poster!

Our rating criteria is fine-tuned to ensure you know as much as necessary in order to achieve YOUR perfect live nativity experience.

We judge based on many things, including:

  • Whether or not Baby Jesus is played by a REAL baby. If not, we aren’t interested! Nobody wants to wait in line only to end up looking at a cabbage patch doll wrapped in someone’s stained sheet!
  • Whether Mary is played by a young lady who was actually impregnated through immaculate conception. We aren’t too demanding with this one—she doesn’t currently need to be pregnant via holy miracle, but she needs to be ready with substantiating documentation that is has happened at some point during her life.
  • Whether anyone on the Church’s premises greets guests with “Happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” This former is flat-out unacceptable. We have a zero-tolerance policy for “Happy holidays.” Reporting a live nativity engaging in pagan greetings will result in immediate termination from the app.

To discover the full potential of “A Pilgrim's Weighty Choice” and see how easy it is to pick the perfect live nativity for your family, visit the App Store today!