God | Points in Case

Tag: God

"Take thy breakfast and cast it before Dad, and it shall become a mess upon the floor.” And Child and Toddler did as the LORD commanded.

And God said, “Let there be great music so none of them talk to each other,” and there was a DJ who worked in finance but DJed on the side.

Cain: Cain is in pain! Abel: I'm un-Abel to walk comfortably!

Is this yet another quarrel with your wife about your infidelity? Or an ass-backwards attempt to punish a blasphemous hero?

Sending Him flowers every once in a while, you ingrate.

I think we can all agree: it is odd how a single (accidental text message / vote with my fellow Cardinals) can change the course of history

You pray the gods will soon fill your hands with a warm United States Passport Application. Oho! It is not so simple.

Have you considered making me taller and more visually striking? Might be good for brand recognition.

Thanks to you, our novel species of intelligent beings may roam these brown leather lands and pray to the red flannel ass above.

I know that our omni-everything boss is obsessed with blood metaphors, but this seems a bit gratuitous.

Ganesh, God of New Beginnings: I'm all for New Year's resolutions, but I bet you ten rupees she uses that annual yoga studio pass exactly once.

Your home library is all Bibles. I mean, uhh, could He make it any more obvious? The Bible is His favorite book!