Biblical Figures Stub Their Toe
Cain: Cain is in pain! Abel: I'm un-Abel to walk comfortably!
Tag: God
Open Letter to Zeus, King of the Gods and Lord of Storms
Is this yet another quarrel with your wife about your infidelity? Or an ass-backwards attempt to punish a blasphemous hero?
10 Ways to Get Closer to God, If You’re into That Kind of Thing
Sending Him flowers every once in a while, you ingrate.
A Template for Confessing Your Infidelity and/or Announcing You Are the New Pope
I think we can all agree: it is odd how a single (accidental text message / vote with my fellow Cardinals) can change the course of history
If You Wish to Print a Document, You Must Pass These Six Trials
You pray the gods will soon fill your hands with a warm United States Passport Application. Oho! It is not so simple.
Feedback on My Existence
Have you considered making me taller and more visually striking? Might be good for brand recognition.
Thank You from the Society That’s Been Growing Under Your Ass
Thanks to you, our novel species of intelligent beings may roam these brown leather lands and pray to the red flannel ass above.
God Keeps Delaying Our Period Redesign Rollout
I know that our omni-everything boss is obsessed with blood metaphors, but this seems a bit gratuitous.
What Your Favorite Deity Says About You, After We Called and Asked
Ganesh, God of New Beginnings: I'm all for New Year's resolutions, but I bet you ten rupees she uses that annual yoga studio pass exactly once.
How to Know God Has Been Sneaking Around Your House Lately
Your home library is all Bibles. I mean, uhh, could He make it any more obvious? The Bible is His favorite book!
So You Thought You’d File for Free, Huh?
I’m ready when you are. And I won’t even charge you anything, girl. It’s on me. Free Edition. I got you.
One-Star Yelp Reviews of Heaven
I would have given zero stars if I could! It’s really amazing what’s “not an option” up here.