God | Page 2 | Points in Case

Tag: God

I think we can all agree: it is odd how a single (accidental text message / vote with my fellow Cardinals) can change the course of history

You pray the gods will soon fill your hands with a warm United States Passport Application. Oho! It is not so simple.

Have you considered making me taller and more visually striking? Might be good for brand recognition.

Thanks to you, our novel species of intelligent beings may roam these brown leather lands and pray to the red flannel ass above.

I know that our omni-everything boss is obsessed with blood metaphors, but this seems a bit gratuitous.

Ganesh, God of New Beginnings: I'm all for New Year's resolutions, but I bet you ten rupees she uses that annual yoga studio pass exactly once.

Your home library is all Bibles. I mean, uhh, could He make it any more obvious? The Bible is His favorite book!

I’m ready when you are. And I won’t even charge you anything, girl. It’s on me. Free Edition. I got you.

I would have given zero stars if I could! It’s really amazing what’s “not an option” up here.

You shall meet Ra, the Supreme God of the Sun and Creator of All Tan Lines. He will teach thee how to avoid straining thy intervertebral joints.

She has experienced the perfect amount of sexual oppression and shame to properly teach your daughters about their growing bodies.

The theme of my Bar Mitzvah is “Lying awake at night, your face slick with sweat, drowning in a pool of your own despair.”