God is such a funny guy. The Bible said it best: He was the first comedian to exist. He might be hilarious, but his pranks are a little too obvious—that’s why it’s easy to spot these little spiritual signs that The Lord Himself has been sneaking around in your house lately. Let’s check them out!

Your home library is all Bibles

I mean, uhh, could He make it any more obvious? The Bible is His favorite book, and last I checked, it’s way, way bigger than the other books you usually have, so that’s a huge giveaway. But honestly, maybe that’ll get us to finally read our daily verses that we’ve been skipping. Guilty!

Your son’s eyes are glowing

This one is so easy to miss, but if you look closely, you’ll know God’s just being a freak. Whenever your son’s eyes begin to emit a heavenly glow akin to a fridge light brimming in the dark kitchen at midnight, you know for SURE God was sneaking around just recently in your house and assumed your son’s physical form.

There’s a piece of paper that says “God was here LOL” taped to your dog’s back

Your dog, Crut, is so aloof and borderline hopeless at times, which is exactly why our Alpha and Omega snuck His omnipotent self in through the backyard gate, CRAWLED through the doggy door, then found Crut the Doberman and taped that funny message on his dog back.

An angel is taking a shower with you

I guess you and Crut have a lot in common, because when you were taking a shower and there was an archangel in there towering over you, covered in suds, that was a dead giveaway that God had just been, or still was, sneaking around in your house. Here’s a little hint to help out next time around: you never see angels ever at any other time in your life and this one was in your shower. Hope that helps. You can laugh at yourself for this one!

Your couch has a burning bush on top of it

Ah! You were close to noticing this one. It’s okay. You had a hunch and your instincts were on the right track: that burning bush on your couch was God. Every time it pulsed and radiated with a booming voice, instructing you to lead men, you were having your leg pulled by the biggest trickster in the universe. Sometimes you just got to chalk it up to God being funny as hell.

You make eye contact with God in your cupboard but don’t question it

Grabbing Chex Mix for num nums gets you happy as a clam, which is probably why you were a little too distracted to acknowledge this God sighting. When you were about to close the snack cupboard and you made direct eye contact with God, but then shrugged it off—that was Him. The Father Himself was snooping in your home pantry and rummaging his way through your favorite chomps like a total troublemaker. Think about where else he could’ve been in your house! This is the kind of thing that can make you snort with laughter. Pinch yourself, you literally just looked at God’s face. W.T.F.

Your whole home becomes Hell for a second but then changes back

In retrospect, you’re gonna be shaking your head about this. It was pretty out in the open! Your whole home nightmarishly transformed into the depths of hell for a second, full of soot, raging flames, writhing anguished souls, screaming demonic entities, and echoing pain, and then changed back to normal really quickly. You even thought, “huh, that seemed like a Satan thing,” but the truth is: that was God who did that because he was sneaking in your house like a little freak.

I cannot believe God is getting up to this kind of stuff. I’m even getting a teeny bit jealous. Please let me know if you notice any signs of Him crawling around in your house any time soon—I want to stay in the loop!


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