Franz Kafka’s Bar Mitzvah Speech
The theme of my Bar Mitzvah is “Lying awake at night, your face slick with sweat, drowning in a pool of your own despair.”
I'm a screenwriter for television, video games, and transmedia, as well as an award-winning author and graphic novelist. I was a staff writer for the last two seasons of the comedy series TruTV PRESENTS: WORLD'S DUMBEST, which as you may have guessed aired on TruTV. Some of my other television writing credits include the PBS Kids series CYBERCHASE, the Cartoon Network series CODENAME: KIDS NEXT DOOR, the MTV series TRL, and the FYI Network series BROKE BITES. During the past several years, I've written over two dozen humor pieces for MAD MAGAZINE. I've also written for other humor publications including NATIONAL LAMPOON ONLINE and JEST. And I've written three LEGO STAR WARS humor books for kids, all of which are currently available from Scholastic.
The theme of my Bar Mitzvah is “Lying awake at night, your face slick with sweat, drowning in a pool of your own despair.”
“Synonyms for ‘laugh’ include ‘chortle,’ ‘gurgle,’ ‘snicker,’ and ‘titter,’” Commander Garm told the dead alien for no discernible reason.