Does the book have THE new book smell? Does it have THAT old book smell?
Tag: Satire and Parody
“I know you mean well, Dad,” my sister said. “But these days, it’s considered more polite to say ‘enormous insect’ rather than ‘monstrous vermin’.”
Who’ll want to chat with poor old Yarvik about annual rainfall when they can discuss philosophy of mind or Baroque art?
Want to boost your buying power? There’s a simple strategy you may have overlooked: lowering yourself in esteem, quality, or character to get money.
I’ve had to take about 6,482 photos of myself every day. I have maxed out 14 used iPhone storage capacities and countless SD cards.
I was wary of Jamie moving into our base, because I gathered credible olfactory intelligence that they associate with cats.
I'm an athletic person so the sweatband is useful and does not look like the beginnings of a goofy '80s Halloween costume.
Nice place. Lovely sheets. Good shampoo. Someone kissed me in the middle of the night.
As a point of procedure, motions for new toys normally require a one-week notice period. See Maddy v. Mom (Safeway, 2021).
I’m Your Yoga Instructor and I’m Hitting on Some Weirdly Specific Things About You During This Class
Resist the urge to open your eyes and do a quick scan of the room, evaluating people’s yoga wear.
An Open Letter to the Receipt I Just Got at CVS That Is Inexplicably the Length of a Goddamn Jump Rope
Would you like your receipt via text, email, or Gordian Knot full of surveys and "Extrabucks" offers you can’t throw away fast enough?
We want to extend our deepest gratitude to you for believing in our potato chips. Those other people who didn’t buy our chips can go right to hell.