Thanks for Giving Me the Exact Compliment I Definitely Wasn’t Fishing For
I was wondering aloud if my hair looked hideous and ratty like an overstuffed wasp nest. I didn’t even think you heard my medium-quiet whisper!
I was wondering aloud if my hair looked hideous and ratty like an overstuffed wasp nest. I didn’t even think you heard my medium-quiet whisper!
Now the haters are gonna eat their words like a saturated fat-soaked afterschool snack.
Including "The Capable Ice Road Trucker" and "The Priest Who Challenged Me to a Rap Battle at My Nephew’s Baptism.”
There is no need for me to use fancy equipment or creams. I do not belong in Hollywood. That is not my natural habitat.
My sticker is hilarious because instead of a normie cartoon of my nonexistent wife and darling children, I’ve got two big guns.
Due to an unexpected internal error, Micro haft Word i pre ently unable to di play the letter " ."
Pancakes?! Why not mashed potatoes? Who makes pancakes for dinner, especially Thanksgiving dinner?
Office Hours: By appointment only, instructor often scavenges the Wastes during daylight hours.
Does this calendar actually work, since your new year's resolution was "do not grow as a person?"
I’ve given up hope when I see the cabinet door swing open, and your big, dumb hand comes lurching toward me.
Labor Day - Here’s what they won’t tell you about Karl Marx: He’s a daddy!
Aquarius: Who is morally frail? Thou art. Immoral thoughts cause your complexion to redden.