Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
A Scene from “The Banshees of Inishirin” or a Scene from Any of the Four St. Patrick’s Days I Had at College?
Someone chokes on a finger and vomits.
Funny Lists
People Talking About Dentist Appointments the Way They Talk About Basketball
Dr. Pacini’s always been good, but now he’s got the best hygienists in the business. They’re a root canal dream team.
Things That I, a Millennial Born in the ’90s, Would Rather Do than Make a Phone Call
- Repeat grades six and seven, objectively my most awkward years - Untangle holiday lights - Menstruate for an entire month
Is He Cheating On You, a Serial Killer, or Just an Avid Birder?
- He’s been trying out different mating calls. - You’ve caught him googling “Brown Booby,” “Great Tit,” and “Cock-of-the-Rock.”
Biblical Figures Stub Their Toe
Cain: Cain is in pain! Abel: I'm un-Abel to walk comfortably!
20 Tips for Reading While Dining Out That Are Easier than Buying a $2 Pair of Reading Glasses
- Ask what the specials are, then ask what all the regular items are. - Memorize the entire menu instead.
A List of People Who Are Dead to Me So Far (In Chronological Order)
Dorothy Hamill, for inspiring the bowl cut my mom gave me from ages 6-12.
Questions on the Job Application to Drive the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile
If you woke up and your partner was an Oscar Mayer wiener, how long could your grief stop you from eating them?
Congressional Valentines Sure to Break Through the Divisiveness
- Let’s form our own special select committee - Please be my Majority Whip - We should move forward with a discharge petition
Tax Form or Droid from Star Wars?
1099-K, BB-8, WA-7, W-9?
Town in Massachusetts or Archaic Insult?
Peabody, Maynard, Wantwit, Athol, Muckspout: fastest route to Muckspout or scathing flurry of insults?
Are You My Future Boyfriend or a Personal Injury Lawyer?
You’re willing to fight for what I deserve. You categorically accept my claim that, “This is not entirely my fault.”