Kurt Zemaitaitis | Points in Case

Kurt is just trying to inject a little humor into the world.

Comedy Writing

Why do I have a safety deposit box at Epcot full of cash, character location maps, and over one hundred trading pins?

Teasing you about when they go on sale and then stealing them from your virtual cart in less than a millisecond is my definition of fun.

You'll mistakenly think the reeds are developing some exotic flavor. Nope --It's mold. Another thing you neglected, like your "check engine" light.

Just like you, with some strategic bright lights and a huge painted-on smile, I make it look like everything is peachy keen.

The Broadway League called me a "triple threat" since I caused a scene at every show, stalked cast members, and made everyone around me feel unsafe.

Fund your retirement account - The best time to start investing is when you’re born. The second best time is when you’re completely potty-trained.

I come from a long line of well-known, obnoxious sounds. My father was the blast from a cruise ship, my uncle was the exhaust rattle of a Harley.

Ferrari Fantasy – A unique blend of Italian leather, capped teeth, micropenis, and snobbiness that will render you speechless.