I’m the Snowman Decoration in Your Yard and Most of the Day I’m Just as Deflated as You Are
Just like you, with some strategic bright lights and a huge painted-on smile, I make it look like everything is peachy keen.
Comedy Writing
I’m the Girl in the Newspaper Dress That Sat Behind You at “Newsies,” and I’m the Real Reason Broadway Was Shut Down
The Broadway League called me a "triple threat" since I caused a scene at every show, stalked cast members, and made everyone around me feel unsafe.
List: 11 Money Moves Every Six-Year-Old Needs to Make Today
Fund your retirement account - The best time to start investing is when you’re born. The second best time is when you’re completely potty-trained.
I Am Netflix’s Ridiculous Sound Effect
I come from a long line of well-known, obnoxious sounds. My father was the blast from a cruise ship, my uncle was the exhaust rattle of a Harley.
List: 11 Scented Candles Dripping with Masculinity
Ferrari Fantasy – A unique blend of Italian leather, capped teeth, micropenis, and snobbiness that will render you speechless.