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What’s that? Did you have your hand up, Brian? You’re muted, Brian. No, you’re still muted. Never mind. We don’t have time for this.
Can We Chat?, 5 PM: Hop off the couch and back on Zoom with a terse smile pasted to your face. Don’t forget to put your shirt back on!
Sure, I was just a young kid back then, but I don’t really see what else has changed. Is Perfect Dark not badass anymore? Because no one told me.
How would you feel if, every time someone wanted to address one of these problems, they used you as the reason?
“57 Varieties of Courage” Velveeta pulled her long red hair, the robust shade of Heinz ketchup, under a hood before leaving for the morning hunt.
While you’re on your way to vote why not stop for a bite to eat? Hildie’s Roadside Café is pretty close to your polling place.
You are in the middle of an elaborate run-on, that due to the nature of its structure, suggests a constantly-looming-but-never-arriving closure...
I call my contraption "Four Score and Seven Thrills Ago: Honest Abe’s Adventures in American Aviation." I look forward to hearing from you!
An alluring smile crossing his lips, he presses down, gently, on the button under his desk. Slowly, seductively, his desk rises to standing height.
In 1960 at our Annual Goat Blood-A-Palooza & Family Fun Day, we saw a vision of you, the chosen one. We’ve been trying to sabotage you ever since.
For four years we've turned a blind eye to the despicable actions Trump has taken. It's time we focus the discussion squarely on him for once.
Each time, I smugly think to myself, “I’m right on this time.” I am not right on. Not ever. It always seems to be further back than I think.