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For urgent matters, please reach out to Gary Dilworth, who will bombard me with angry texts in all caps until I respond.
I’m a hip font on an eye-catching background. I’m a cake that says "end white supremacy." I’m a black square.
“On fiscal new year’s eve, there’s no accounting for love.”
Q: Your website says that you’re size inclusive, but you only go up to size L. Are you out of stock of larger sizes?
I was making lemon history while all those other chuds were clogging up the marketplace of ideas with lemonade.
What is the point of having a job, really, if I can’t subject everyone I work with to deal with the afternoon odors of the nasty lunches I eat?
Have you been getting some emails that seem Phishy? This is PayPal, btw. The real PayPal. How can you know? You’ll get a gut feeling inside.
At 8 PM on Thursday, my basketball hoop is going to look brand-spanking new. I don’t have to care about your family or your kids.
I intended to flee, but did not expect to crawl through what appears to be two and a half football fields worth of human shit.
His portrayal of sexual obsession and lustful yearning is so convincing, a social worker from CPS has come to watch three consecutive performances.
If in doubt, release a canary (oh, you should bring a canary) into a ventilation shaft and observe it carefully.
Above The Rim: No one gets a scholarship to Georgetown, where many hookups can take place, because the grounds have been converted to a WeWork space.