“Upon watching Space Jam for the first time in 2019, [Space Jam 2 director Malcolm D.] Lee was caught off guard by the original's ‘very sexualized' depiction of Lola Bunny. ‘This is 2021. It's important to reflect the authenticity of strong, capable female characters,' the Girls Trip filmmaker says of why they ‘reworked' Lola.”
—“Game on! LeBron James balls out in Space Jam: A New Legacy first look” Derek Lawrence, Entertainment Weekly

Hoosiers

The emphasis on passing before taking a shot is redirected toward making the shoes squeak less so that no one thinks of a bed bouncing or mice cowering in fear while their masters copulate in the eyes of the Lord.

Like Mike

Instead of wearing Michael Jordan’s shoes to make him a better basketball player, as shoes remind people of feet and we all know feet are much too horny, Lil’ Bow Wow instead wears Jordan’s cologne which distracts his opponents for its opulent blend of sandalwood, coriander, and grit.

Air Bud

Josh goes with Buddy to get neutered and, to make him less afraid, gets the procedure done himself, when Bob Barker shows up, but not with any of the attractive presenters from his game show.

Above the Rim

No one gets a scholarship to Georgetown, where many hookups can take place, because the grounds have been converted to a WeWork space, where enterprising students can come and learn whatever they want on their own time during breaks from their gig economy jobs. They’re setting their own schedules!

Juwaana Man

Instead of pursuing Juwanna aggressively, Puff Smokey Smoke partners with her on an idea for a palm pilot that lets you know the exact time and day you will perish. They sell their product to Microsoft, which folds it into Windows Vista, bringing them a windfall. Years later they have a falling out over stadium naming rights.

Hoop Dreams

Scenes that took place at Cabrini-Green in Chicago will be moved to the Eagle Lake Pine subdivision in Omaha, NE.

He Got Game

Jake still befriends Dakota, the sex worker living next door to him at his run-down hotel, but helps her with unionizing her fellow comrades so that they can collectively bargain with Sweetness. Instead of a romantic relationship, they start a Patreon.

O

Instead of shaping a high school basketball drama into William Shakespeare’s Othello, the story is instead based on William Shatner’s TekLords.

Celtic Pride

The boys run into Larry Bird and he tells them that New England Clam Chowder is not, in fact, an aphrodisiac and asks them to help him pour it over the parquet floors at the Boston Garden so it will be preserved.

The Basketball Diaries

Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Wahlberg help Bruno Kirby channel his urges into painting portraits of George W. Bush painting portraits of other people and they’re sold for very little money as NFTs.

High Flying Bird

The NBA lockout is settled after ABC agrees to only advertise their slate of family sitcoms during games and the film is shot entirely on an Android instead of an iPhone.

Fast Break

Gabe Kaplan’s denim shorts have more of an inseam this time.

Blue Chips

The payola scandal centers on Shaq’s rapping career, same amount of Nick Nolte.

Forget Paris

Billy Crystal reunites with his wife at halftime but it’s sponsored by HP. They get in a fight over how to turn off double-sided printing and split up again.

The 6th Man

The player’s brother’s ghost keeps reappearing to make sure he sets up a living trust along with his will and testament, as he wants to spare his brother the pain and red tape of going through probate.


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