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When you adopt from Frankenstein’s, you can rest assured your Rescue Monster has received the highest quality of care.
Are you embarrassed that I called you out, and now suffer from some sort of movie monster performance anxiety?
I instead opt for one of my many t-shirts that feature Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs smoking marijuana.
We're lucky to have such great brands to remind us that individuals could be doing more to save the planet from the brink of ecological collapse.
And as we count down from five, we allow ourselves to become even more amused… Four, letting all of the non-amusement just gently melt away…
It’s ironic that Freddy Krueger’s initials are FK because the guy should be Fucking Kancelled.
The big bag is a safer purchase. Now it won’t be the end of the world if I have one. I’d hate to disappoint the kids two years in a row.
It’s a zero-sum game out there. Every piece of candy you don’t get goes into the gaping, cavity-filled maw of some other kid.
Admire the local artisanship on display, particularly the humanoid stick figures bound in twine looming overhead in the trees.
The monster in the poem “dwelt in the moor-fens, the marsh and the fastness”--and guess what, that’s exactly where my monster dwelt.
Be tidy. If you have showered in body fluids, towel off before excursions.
The dads effectively hit everything except the ball causing a lot of property damage while the factory workers could not settle on a bat.