Can I foster and decide later if I want to keep It?
When you adopt from Frankenstein’s, you can rest assured your Rescue Monster has received the highest quality of care. But for reasons that will become immediately salient, once you welcome him into your home, he’s yours forever.
I want to adopt the rescue monster now, but can’t take the Rescue Monster now because I am going away/not ready/moving soon
We understand. Most customers, especially children, take one look at our Rescue Monsters and say let’s take him home right away! Frankenstein’s wants to work with you to accommodate your perfect adoption day but keep this in mind: when we say supplies are limited, we mean supplies are limited.
Can I get a Rescue Monster for less than the usual adoption rate?
We defer to Coco Chanel: “The best things in life are free, the second best are very expensive.”
When do I receive my Rescue Monster’s paperwork?
Until we untangle the knot of arcane laws and regulations, it’s best not to get too hung up on the paperwork.
Do you know the history of my Rescue Monster?
No. As any genealogist will tell you, the re-assembly and re-animation of deceased flesh make it notoriously difficult to pinpoint events on a pre-death timeline. Similarly, any independent verification by a “grave robber” is suspect. So while you will likely never know your Rescue Monster’s history, you can have fun creating a new back story, one free of torches, pitchforks, angry mobs, burning windmills, defective brains, or unwitting homicides.
Is my adoption fee tax deductible?
As a family business, we operate on a cash and carry basis, so we suggest you bury this expenditure under “office supplies.”
Is my Rescue Monster microchipped? How do I change the information? How long does it take to change the microchip information?
No. Many take one look at the neck bolts and assume our Rescue Monsters have been outfitted with GPS, Bluetooth, wi-fi, or other microchip tracking software. This is not the case. Our monsters have undergone no outside modifications besides several powerful jolts of 100% organic lightning. Admittedly, since our Rescue Monsters can be prone to wandering off and depressive/aggressive episodes (“We belong dead!”), a chip could spare you many anxious nights scouring the gloomy moors.
In the interest of transparency, we must admit that our Rescue Monsters have displayed an irrational hostility to all forms of vaccinations, often grunting and raging when the topic is introduced. Coaxing, bribing, and appealing to the public welfare have proven ineffective. Perhaps the loving influence of a new family might one day change their minds?
Is my Rescue Monster potty trained?
No, can’t stress this enough. Hard no.