I Am a Shark and We Just Bought Cool Drones to Monitor You
Now sharks will watch humans eat and breed in real-time. I could easily watch a whole week of this in slickly packaged, one-hour chunks.
Comedy Writing
Trees Clap Back at Accusation of “Less Vibrant” Fall Foliage
The heat and the rain resulted in this season’s leaf color being a shade more subdued than in past years. But God, you’d think we killed Santa Claus.
FAQ: Your Rescue Monster
When you adopt from Frankenstein’s, you can rest assured your Rescue Monster has received the highest quality of care.
Lab Rat Resigns, Looks for Better Pellet-Dispensing Gig
My hours are long, there’s no clock, and my wages are… well it’s just the pellets, isn’t it?
James Bond Gets Sober on Zoom
Isolated and idle, alcohol became my only sidekick and I didn’t care if it was shaken or stirred as long as it was in my mouth.