Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
Hannah has mostly been good company, except for trying to sleep in some mornings and repeatedly suggesting that she and my son might want to do a few things on their own.
Hey, Officer, don’t look so worried. I’m the best there is. I advised Al Pacino on how to shout “somebody get help” in "Heat."
Sometimes we missed the real world, so we would use the payphone to call our agents, managers, and publicists with the spare change they’d given us.
Oh, I would hardly call what you saw "nudity" or "pornographic movements."
Chef Roberts was trying to open the new tuna can, and his thumb got stuck in the ring.
This was the first time I felt like I was witnessing something I shouldn't be seeing.
Funeral guests will be in mourning garb, as will most of the paranormal experience attendees, so you will need to confirm the purpose of the visit.
12:00 P.M.: School, I guess? Who knows.
Studies show hex recipients can lose 6-98% of their body weight, with some dropping as much as one pound every hour.
How young will Uncle Jeff’s uninvited date be?
Whatever your intolerable situation is, you’ve rightly decided to take a nice long coma until it all blows over.
While everyone is looking at your waving hand, use your other hand to reach into your pocket for the smoke pellet you keep for situations like this.