Dear Hollywood: As Martians, We Are Tired of Being Represented as Evil
Imagine if we depicted all of humanity as tiny, pink, whiners with aggressive tendencies. Your species would not appreciate this behavior.
Imagine if we depicted all of humanity as tiny, pink, whiners with aggressive tendencies. Your species would not appreciate this behavior.
My son only talks about candy lately, as though there is nothing more to running a business than coming up with colorful and dangerous food for kids.
If infractions occur, whisper “[your name] identifies [target’s name]” within one meter of any Tesla automobile, and it’ll get straightened out.
You head straight to your corner, even though reserving spots isn't allowed, we all know it’s yours since you’re a woman of habit. And we fear you.
Trump’s plan to top the gesture is to acquire a bigger, more ornate envelope! The world’s largest! Carmen Sandiego can't resist a prize like this.
I asked you on a date in my head and pretend-you said yes. This confirmed it; you are a kind-hearted guy who can see the potential in me.
I have reduced stress by limiting my mental breakdown to three times a week. You would never guess that I've stress vomited in every campus bathroom!
We are keen to invest three decades of savings into your property and excited to put in our offer after looking for the perfect teardown for so long.
Did you assume it was easy for all of us to bleach our hair two months after coming out? No. But we all did it. Every single one of us.
As I picked up the box of cookies, I imagined a world where everyone thought it was okay to leave items they didn’t want anymore wherever they please.
I'm warning you: they won't stop until Arbor Day becomes Firewood Day.
The only thing that stops a bad kid with a dream is a good fully grown adult with a Twitter account. Please heed these social media tips.