At the very least, I thought I’d live out my days being volleyed over some net in a park by people who considered themselves moderate exercisers.
Hapless criminals looking for qualified candidate to provide wakeup service to a suburban Chicago family with an early morning flight.
There we are, four feet peeking out, intimating that our other body parts are currently engaged in some very exciting and hidden sexual activity.
If you do purchase a star on Star Registry for your wife, don’t tell her you named it Cougar15 because she's a cougar and you’ve been married for 15 years.
I'm warning you: they won't stop until Arbor Day becomes Firewood Day.
Who's in favor of ending "gun-free zones" and replacing them with "free gun zones"? The answer to every question in America is "more."
While having sex with communists, totalitarians, and socialists all in the same place can be exhilarating, it can also be fraught with peril.
I hate Irv, my 66-year-old co-worker who's retiring at the end of the month. He's been gloating about it since I started working with him 7 years ago.
My Gap skinny jeans might make me look young, but my rapidly aging prostate constantly reminds me that I’m not.
I have a confession to make: I'm the man behind the Incredible Hulk. But I've gotten older and my angry shenanigans have become tiresome over the years.
My kids look at me and feel empathy for my plight but relief that the task is not theirs. I'm going all the way into the residential abyss.