1. Roll a hoop with a stick.

2. Drink a beer with dinner.

3. Admire rich white men who are landowners.

4. Cook porridge and flummery.

5. Exhort a vagabond to repentance.

6. Unwind with a beer or two with lunch.

7. Ride wooden hobby horses.

8. Don't believe in climate change.

9. Pleasure yourself with a few beers for breakfast.

10. Knotwork.

11. Maintain body temperature while rolling a hoop with a stick by drinking a lukewarm beer.

12. Entice your mistress with a dinner of boiled pigeon prepared tableside.

13. Employ mercury to tend to your syphilis.

14. Decide what marginalized communities do with their bodies.

15. After beating a foe at rolling a hoop with a stick, douse your coach with a barrel of beer.

16. Own a gun.


Modern GOP Congressman: 1–16
Founding Fathers: 1–16

See new PIC posts via Twitter, Facebook, or email.

Sign up for comedy writing or stand-up classes at The Second City - 10% off with code PIC.