Erik Moyer is a writer and data scientist based in Texas. He holds a PhD from UNT, an MFA from UCI, an MBA from FSU, and a BS from UVA. His work appears in Columbia Journal, The Pinch, The Rumpus, and elsewhere. He can be found at erikjosephmoyer.com.
Jokes
I used to have an irrational fear of leaving the house with the stove on. So now I just bring the stove with me.
Girls don’t want a guy who’s down to earth. They want someone tall.
What does armed to the teeth mean? Isn’t that just braces?
I was a runner in high school. We went to the state championship. And when people say they went to the state championship, that means they lost the state championship.
I was bullied as a child. My mom told me to tell my bullies, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words–” but they just went, “You hear that guys? That’s his weakness. Let’s break his bones!”