Of Course I Have a Bottle Opener on Me, It’s My Entire Personality
I’m a bit of a superhero, if you think about it. I’ve got all sorts of bottle openers on me at all times.
I’m a bit of a superhero, if you think about it. I’ve got all sorts of bottle openers on me at all times.
There’s no way you’re shouting “SEX ON THE BEACH, PLEASE” over the too loud music.
How you doin' (on this quiz)? Remember “The One with the Cake” and “The One with the Baby on the Bus”?
And God said, “Let there be great music so none of them talk to each other,” and there was a DJ who worked in finance but DJed on the side.
Labor Day - Here’s what they won’t tell you about Karl Marx: He’s a daddy!
I tell stories of humanity. Some about a guy getting drunk in the woods. Others about two guys getting drunk in the woods.
How do these seltzer companies make money in such a saturated market? What gives?
We’ve also shitloaded that thing with, like, 17 green olives from the most overpriced gourmet grocery store we could find.
My job sucks. Why did I think working at a bar next to a port on a western bay that serves a hundred ships a day would be a good idea?
Random people keep jostling you to get to the front of the amorphous blob you’ve been waiting in for 30 minutes.
The May-Decemberita: Sherry with a sprinkle of Molly.
The urinary mishaps of three potty-training boys mingle to deliver this temporally complex white.