- When you show up to the bar, he offers to get you a drink, or a soda water, or leafy greens and bulgur wheat.
- He asks his friends questions about you, like what your blood type is.
- He finds reasons to be around you, such as blood work and blood testing.
- He asks you about yourself, things like, “Can you give me a kidney?” and, “So how’s about that kidney?”
- Mutual friends get nervous around you guys because they don’t want to have to give him a kidney.
- He makes an effort to include you in his hobbies such as major surgery.
- He talks to you about his family and how none of them are a match for his kidney.
- He tries negging you. If your name is Kimberly he might call you “Kidney.” If your name is Sarah he might call you “Kidney.”
- He gets anxious around you since he doesn't know if you’re going to give him a kidney or not.
- When you change something, he notices. He says, “Your driver’s license used to say organ donor, but now your drivers’ license doesn’t say organ donor. What the fuck.”
- His body language is different around you. If he doesn’t usually hold a knife, maybe now he’s holding a knife.
- He makes casual contact with you like shaking your shoulders violently while screaming, “I don’t have much time, man!”
- He responds immediately to your texts when you say things like, “Whatever, I guess you can have it.”
- After you give him your kidney he stops talking to you. Don’t worry, he just doesn’t want to seem needy! He’s super into you.