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Open Letter to the Creator of Ghosts
Here is my main concern: What if I wear something really ugly the day I die?
Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
Here is my main concern: What if I wear something really ugly the day I die?
Home Depot can sell you a mirror, but they can't make you see yourself. I've had plenty of time to think while you were crying over "Property Brothers."
That’s me wearing the torn NASA t-shirt on my favorite couch. I uploaded this photo to show I’m a typical 39-year-old living in his Mom’s garage.
It was never clear what subject he was supposed to be teaching, since on our schedules it was spelled in mysterious runes that burned your eyes.
I’ve never needed the Pythagorean Theorem for any moment of my life. I’m a million times better off without you, just like I always thought.
When you need a break from the mind-numbing fixation of staring at your phone, Scrabble® is here to help you.
Summer 312 AD: Constantine Wins and Finds Jesus: Beating your nemesis and then becoming sanctimonious about it? 312 AD was a classic WBS.
‘My’ ‘Cousin’ ‘Ben’ ‘Works’ ‘In’ ‘Accounting’ ‘And’ ‘He’ ‘Already’ ‘Flagged’ ‘My’ ‘Application’ Surprising, huh?! Who knew it was that simple?!
Don’t get too cute with the disease you’re pretending to have. Obviously, it has to be a qualifying condition, but it should also be believable.
Thanks to you, our novel species of intelligent beings may roam these brown leather lands and pray to the red flannel ass above.
For too long, we have ignored the very real threat that COVID-19 can survive in and be spread through ectoplasm.
You see, when I was fired from my job at Target for stealing money out of the register, it was actually a clever commentary on American capitalism.