“Writers of the future” sound like a bunch of procrastinators if you ask me.

— Brian Gutierrez, @StuffExplaining

He wasn’t afraid to ask the tough questions, but he sure was afraid of clowns.

— Brian Gutierrez, @StuffExplaining

Me doing yoga to relieve my chronic back pain and close-to-arthritic spine? Now that’s a stretch!

— Brian Gutierrez, @StuffExplaining

Me: If memory serves me correctly–
Memory: I DON’T WORK FOR ANYONE.

— Brian Gutierrez, @StuffExplaining

Repeat after me: I am not a parrot.

— Brian Gutierrez, @StuffExplaining

My two-year-old saw something today that no toddler should ever see at the park: a Shakespeare play.

— Brian Gutierrez, @StuffExplaining

Sock puppeteers probably start at ankle socks and work their way up.

— Brian Gutierrez, @StuffExplaining

It’s hard to rebuild a place after a fire. It’s even harder when it’s a wax museum.

— Brian Gutierrez, @StuffExplaining

If you want to make sure another person loves you back, try picking a flower with an odd number of petals.

— Brian Gutierrez, @StuffExplaining

A traffic cop’s dedication to their work, no matter the weather or time of day, inspires me to be a better interpretive dancer.

— Brian Gutierrez, @StuffExplaining

I like to think that Marco Polo found himself in the end.

— Brian Gutierrez, @StuffExplaining