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You all did see my resume, right? I double majored in Philosophy and Theater at Fordham.
I think the last person to see it was our tour guide, Henrik. Please respond with his phone number. Or Instagram works too.
One must imagine Sisyphus nice, warm, ready to sizzle like a fajita. Let's get loose. Let's turn resistance up to 35. Let's make our revolt visible.
When the milk you spilled gets into every crevice of your floor, stove, and cupboards, making everything permanently sticky.
When I explain to them that this has never happened before and it’s only because I’m not wearing the proper attire, they laugh even harder.
- Painting the nails on your dominant hand - Helping bring all your groceries inside in one trip
You may have noticed your belly button is blinking blue.
Our van broke down, and we’re asking generous, conventionally attractive fans to help get us back on the road.
If humans were meant to be comfortable, they would evolve like the AI technology powered by our abundant data centers.
I’m best known as a benevolent holiday figure, I’m also a gifted anatomy artist and an expert at tiptoeing around houses without waking people up.
If I had to choose between visiting key moments in your life or watching paint dry, I’d go to Home Depot right now and buy every single can of Sherwin Williams.
Many of you are more than friends, you’re also treasured shareholders of American Correctional Solutions, so I don’t need to tell you that ACS’s profits are through the roof.