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Keep all your pockets slick with oil. You can humiliate them further by saying, "What's the matter bud? Can't get a grip?"
When it’s clear the patron isn’t saying “when” anytime soon and your mind starts to wander.
Once the chardonnay finishes aging in early 2039, we need a little more labor out of you before your first check.
You can spend a fortune on a professional decorator, or you can hire us, We Do It With Dogs.
Lethargy, or complanata torporem, meaning “flattened by torpor.” Use this defense when you’re desperately late out the door because it’s a cold.
The Instant Pot is everything you want in a partner: dependable, easy to understand, warm, generous, creative, talented, and great in the kitchen!
Today’s Opposite Day was triggered by my friend’s child, Kalley, who expressed that I "had a nice haircut… on Opposite Day."
Any attempts to unionize will bounce you to the beginning of your shift at your second job driving for Uber, over and over again.
"Print out a prepaid shipping label." We’re aware there’s no logical reason for a partly-employed 24-year-old to have a printer.
Unfortunately, I do have to make a living. As it turns out, the only subject I’m really educated on—beyond punching things—is a dying industry.
Were you raised by parents who “loved you unconditionally,” regardless of your achievements and “accolades”?
Do not schedule the drill during prime hangover hours.