After years of dead-end dates and endless heartbreak, I finally know what it's like to find your soulmate! For the longest time, I thought I was missing a secret ingredient in the recipe for true love, but now that I'm coupled up with Instant Pot, I understand that it's really just about working with the right equipment.
The Instant Pot is everything you want in a partner: dependable, easy to understand, warm, generous, creative, talented, and obviously great in the kitchen! No guy I've ever dated has made me feel so taken care of. Being with him literally warms my heart - turns out the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach, too!
I must admit, when I first heard about Instant Pots, I ignored the hype. I've experimented with hot plates, toaster ovens, and even an air-fryer once, and, let's just say those flings left me scarred, inside and out.
Honestly, I was really scared of getting burned again!
We actually had a totally cliche meet-cute! I first spotted him on display in the Bed Bath & Beyond, out of the box. The fluorescent light was hitting his brushed stainless steel body, and ohh, daddy. I felt my cheeks flush. I sped away in embarrassment and accidentally crashed into a shelf full of “Love Finds a Way” embroidered pillows. As the pillows crashed down on my head, it felt like a sign. I suddenly got what the “Beyond” is all about.
Without getting too graphic, I'd describe our first date as positively electric. It's usually tough for me to click physically right away, but when I locked that lid into place, the chemistry between us was, well, instant.
Normally I'm the one who has to bring up the “are we exclusive or what?” conversation, but I actually felt some serious pressure from him first. I was so unprepared to take the next step that I even thought about returning him. I put him back in the box for a few days, but the heat he was giving off became impossible to ignore. I couldn't deny he was more than a hard body to me, and the return window had passed anyway.
Our relationship is the most equitable one I've ever had: I do the shopping, he does the cooking. I need a good listener, he needs regular cleaning. My love language is acts of service, his love language is serving me—know what I mean? 😉
I knew Instant Pot might delight me with hearty comfort food. I knew he'd always make sure dinner was ready after work. I knew he would clear out all the dead weight in my life—Boy, bye, rice cooker! Get lost, crockpot!—but just when you think you know someone, they can still surprise you: Just last week, he made me yogurt.
Shocking? Amazing? Wildly thoughtful about my gut health? I know! But that's not all. After my effusive excitement over the homemade yogurt, he casually mentioned he can make cheesecake, too! Can you say “marriage material” or what?
We are, in fact, planning to get engaged and eventually have a family together! I can already picture our own little Mini Instant Pot, the steam-spitting image of his father. I'm not-so-secretly hoping he proposes to me before we go to my sister's wedding in a few months. She's insisting he can't be in the wedding photos, but I don't know what her problem is. He's literally always dressed for a black-tie event.
Don't get me wrong. Like every couple, we've had our bad moments. He sometimes gets jealous when I spend time with other humans, but I get it! He's never been with anyone else, and our worst fight was totally my fault. I felt insecure after I let my neighbor borrow him to make tortilla soup, so I kept pushing his buttons and added broth past his fill line. He totally boiled over and was all “beep!” this and “beep-beep!” that, but once I apologized and gave him some time to cool off, well, what can I say? We had explosive makeup sex.
And you can make all the jokes you want about the sex being over quickly, but he's as versatile as advertised. It is even steamier than you think and slow cook mode is quite the simmering ride. And who cares if it's over quickly sometimes if he can heat right back up again?
“Love at first sight? No way!” Love in an instant, though? Well, that's our story.