Daily funny articles by seasoned comedy writers and fresh voices. Best of Year | Editors' Picks | People's Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
You interjected to ask if my depression over the breakup was the reason I had forgotten to buy a new fuchsia ink cartridge.
Now, I’m not bashing Chad. Chad’s fine. Chad does consistently adequate work, and he’s even finally learned what a pivot table is.
Don’t Leave a Voicemail: Voicemails are a dusty artifact from the days before text messaging.
Either way, I’m not going to pursue my dream full-time. Recklessly spend my money trying to make a living out of a hobby? No, that would be ridiculous.
My day looks just like any other grown 40-year-old singular man. I wake up at 5:00 AM sharp and eat my coffee and eggs just like all of you.
I know we only met in passing at Brianna’s Axe-Throwing Farewell Party, but I got SUCH a great vibe from you.
Also, I was just joking when I said in my initial email that I would fold the report into a paper airplane and dart it at your bulbous ass.
Surely this monstrosity holds some meaning that is beyond our minuscule Lego brains.
But if I nod, I may agree to something I strongly disagree with. Like that the world is flat or that black licorice is delicious.
Pro: It can help people see transportation solutions beyond cars. Con: Hey, cars are people too.
Frankly, I’m just excited to have you back in my chair. After all, you ARE my favorite patient! Also, in many ways, you’re like a son to me.
I still don’t even really know what an em dash is. Or care to know for that matter.