Parasocial Security Will Take Care of Your Favorite Aging Celebrities
Instead of throwing your funds away on selfish pursuits, this new program ensures your precious headcanon stays intact.
Instead of throwing your funds away on selfish pursuits, this new program ensures your precious headcanon stays intact.
I know one of you grown adults would never leave exploded beef stroganoff all over the microwave.
I was awoken by the sounds of you two screaming at each other. People make less noise being shanked in the shower.
The person who left the initial voicemail saying, “Come to the lab immediately?” That’s Dave 7.
Just then my pocket horn dinged: a strange photograph of my office front door. No wonder Lorna’s under-dainties were in a bunch.
They say your education is the one thing nobody can take away from you, but I implore you to do just that.
Recite a mantra of personal affirmation loudly so that if someone were in the linen closet, they could hear you, but they’re not, so don’t worry.
Ah, the thrill of the entertainment industry, of which I am now a part as of several hours ago.
Did You Know? "Stress Ball" is indirectly responsible for the death of ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛!
I have to throw in some buzzwords that make eyes glaze over—“pandemic winter,” “lockdown ennui,” and “cultural zeitgeist” should do the trick.
Statement: Miles Davis’ career led to the discovery of acoustic soft-beach rocker Jack Johnson. Ruling: Myth. Again, no.
There’s something else rapidly becoming the defining issue of our time: the 1985 Iran-Contra affair. And goddamn, I’ve written a movie about it.