Sam Burnett | Points in Case

I like rats more than I like people.

Comedy Writing

Why Our New Ad Campaign Only Targets Reptilian-Human Hybrids

The government began funding the reptilian-human-hybrid breeding program in the late 1940s. The perfect age to discover the wonders of retirement living.

by Sam Burnett
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May 17, 2022

Introducing the Sam Super Loyalty Card

So wait, I can’t meet with you/speak to you/copulate with you without a loyalty card? Unfortunately not!

by Sam Burnett
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March 30, 2022

As the Escaped Felon Hiding in Your Attic, I’m Deeply Concerned About Your Marriage

I was awoken by the sounds of you two screaming at each other. People make less noise being shanked in the shower.

by Sam Burnett
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March 17, 2022