Short, punchy comedy for readers on the go. New humor lists regularly. Quizzes | Submit a List
Your war gets into Yale, just like its father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. Your war is a C student, just like its father.
Profitability - Market confidence in any sort of synthesized life forms has been steadily declining since the 70s.
In order to allow our company's pop-up confirmshaming to get right to the point, we have dropped all pretense in our online buttons.
Blindfold the assisting doctor and spin the doctor around for a silly game of "Pin the Lethal Injection on Grandma."
You checked the closet and it wasn’t a monster, it was nine blue goblins. They play poker every Thursday night and they apologized for the noise.
When other people say, "Could you point me towards the restroom? Please hurry, I really have to go," we say, “Merry Christmas."
Your mom and I have been having some money issues, so we're hoping you don't mind sleeping in the basement. We've got a boarder now named Lorraine.
3 - 5 Years: File a police report against the person who stole your gift. (Two reports allowed per game.)
"I figured it must be secretly tangy and delicious, like key lime pie yogurt. So, yeah, I tried it. I'm not proud of it, but I did."
"Why, back in my day, we had to walk 50 miles through the snow just to get gruel and hardtack. Got any medical appliances?"