zik-zik-ZEE wik-wik-wik
Translation: Get the fuck off of this fence! It’s my fence.
wit-wit-dik-dik wit-wit-DIK-DIK oo-duh-lay
Translation: Hey baby, they call me Mr. Big for a reason. Fine, fly on by.
tikka-tikka chawp-chawp-chawp
Translation: You know, sweetheart, you don’t have to eat at every bird feeder.
whenk-whenk sa-WEET
Translation: You have a big tail, girl. I like it!
peet-peet peet-peet-PEET
Translation: That’s what your girlfriend sang to me last night.
hawww hawww hawnk
Translation: Wow, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.
boo-ee boo-ee boo-boo-whee
Translation: All those bluebirds look the same to me.
whit-whit-whit chak-chak
Translation: He’s one of the good orioles.
ka-ha-ka-ha kuk-kuk-KUK
Translation: I’ve got nothing against European starlings. They should just go back where they belong.
churr-churr tshee
Translation: Did you rinse off before getting in this birdbath?
pee-too-ee pee-too-ee whonk-whonk cruk
Translation: Why ducks get shot so often? Just stay away from those guys with earflaps, morons.
ker-ker-WHOOP! ker-li-li? TIK-TIK! churble churble
Translation: I hope your mother gets sucked into a jet engine! Wait, that actually happened? Wow! Awkward.