The water is so chalked full of minerals that no matter how hard I try, I cannot get the soap to lather. Just like the shower at home, but shittier.
Instead of practical commitments, we’ve asked them to show up with the filthiest, horniest fanfic about an environmentalist allegory ever.
On Wednesday he ate through his employee's 401ks, but he was still hungry.
Was the Sun clean, odor-free, safe, and professional in appearance? How satisfied were you with your wait time for the Sun to set?
With the last dregs of humanity, I became one of the lucky few to be invited into a reinforced bunker (along with my pal Mike, who is not as grateful).
Picture a spider eating a child, but now it’s wearing a tasteful little beret. People will ask, “Wow is that spider French?”
When Bob Ross painted you, he always put the trees in front of you. Don't wonder why.
Take a deep breath, relax, and let the current of "Ocean River Stream" carry you to notes of Mediterranean sex butter and unwashed ambrosia.
Making January fly by depends upon how much, or how little, you acknowledge in your mind that it's actually January.
The other day I caught up with a gaggle of humans bobbing around in a wave pool and the first thing I thought of was “flesh corks.”
Use of this park is at your own risk. Such risk will not be assessed, even though this neighborhood has the highest population of actuaries in the city.
The heat and the rain resulted in this season’s leaf color being a shade more subdued than in past years. But God, you’d think we killed Santa Claus.