Camping: Just like Being at Home but Shittier
The water is so chalked full of minerals that no matter how hard I try, I cannot get the soap to lather. Just like the shower at home, but shittier.
Comedy Writing
Oh No, My Family Has a 38 Percent on Rotten Tomatoes!
How did my family careen off into straight-to-video action movie territory?
Post-Halloween Report: My Gabba Ghoul Costume Was a Flop
"This is gonna be huge," I whispered to myself, flattening the various cold cuts dangling from my body.
My Favorite Shirt Has Leatherface Giving You the Finger
Suit and tie? Business casual? I think the Leatherface on my t-shirt will let you know what I think about them.
A Preview of the Home Depot Streaming Services Original Content
Bob Vila: Nazi Hunter: Bob Vila is back, but he’s done fixing old houses; he’s fixing the errors of the Nuremberg trials.
I Meant to Attach My Resume, Not My Manifesto About Eating People
The document that I sent you by mistake, “Human Meat and the Future of Farming,” may seem like a confession, but I assure you it is not.