Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
Firstly, you shouldn’t be put off by the fact this milk is from a rat. This is top-shelf stuff in the rodent milk world.
It had just recently opened the moment I turned the corner, as I have no object permanence.
It's not like I’m going to be walking in the park only to be attacked by a stealthy vending machine that pops out from behind a tree.
I was craning to see if you laughed at the Minions meme I sent and saw my contact name was just my number with "Maybe: Neil" under it.
You know what they say: you can’t live in the past, when all of my achievements paled in comparison to yours.
- I am not interested in emails such as these. - My passion for these messages has with time been exhausted. - I am interested in not receiving these emails.
“Vegan! Give us ze classified recipes and ve vill let you live!” The Vegan’s former best friend-turned-nemesis, General Draganov, shouts.
When Jason sees you wearing this in chemistry class, he’s gonna cream his jeans so hard that the frog he’s dissecting will come back to life!
It might be a good idea to post messages after each kid is picked up so that we know that the bus has not disappeared into some space/time continuum.
My life has been nothing but cutesy crime solving and I’m over it. I’d rather get spayed again than have to solve one more cozy mystery.
It is sad, yes, but he is in a better place. I am told at the farm there is a little pond with some swans in it.
John Chris: I am in my tenth year of overseeing the murder division at Clemsaw Capital. I would be happy to help current students in any way I can!