<555-657-0990> created this group
Hi everyone! I created this group so we can bombard each other with early morning messages related to our children’s elementary school bus. It’s important that we keep each other in the loop about pickup times, changes to the route, and other superfluous details. Open this link to join my WhatsApp group. If you think you can ignore this invitation, you can’t. <11:59 PM>
I don’t want to start any drama, but I just went over the bus route and it seems like our kids are being picked up way too late. I’m going to track down the bus driver and bribe him with daily fresh muffins to start pickups a few minutes before dawn. This way the kids can enjoy the sunrise on the way to school. I’m PMing each of you who haven’t yet joined. <9:14 AM>
Great news! The bus driver is in! He agreed to start at 4:45 AM (after I also presented him with a suitcase full of cash). Reminder to JOIN! <5:40 PM>
Now, I was thinking… It might be a good idea to post messages after each kid is picked up so that we know that the bus has not disappeared into some space/time continuum. I’m about to FaceTime whoever is still not on the chat. <10:37 PM>
Good morning! Some of you might be sleeping, but I figured, I’d text you anyway with a “🙂” since I’m up watching weather reports so I can prep gear for the short walk to the bus stop. Please reply with another “🙂” so that I know you saw this message. <3:14 AM>
Have your kids been picked up yet? We’re at the stop 45 minutes before the driver said he’d be here, but there's no sign of him. Do you think he had a seizure or do you think the guy I gave the cash to was some sort of imposter? I’m very concerned… <4:00 AM>
Reply to my message or I’m going door to door with a rooster to wake you. <4:01 AM>
Update: He was right on time, guys! I inspected the bus for safety, and there is a microscopic scratch near the left headlight. The driver assured me it was not from a previous accident or an encounter with a man wielding a chainsaw. <4:45 AM>
Okay, so I slipped a GPS tracker into Joey’s backpack and now I see the bus has been idling on Central Avenue for five minutes. Can someone reassure me that the Earth has not opened up and swallowed the bus whole? <5:15 AM>
Nevermind. It’s moving. <5:16 AM>
Oh no! I got an alert that the bus is headed west. There’s a hospital in that direction. Do you think that wild eagles maybe got in through a window and pecked through Joey’s skull? I’m calling him, but he muted me. Does anyone else’s kid have a phone? Can someone call them to check? <5:19 AM>
Ok, so I’m in my car, right behind the bus. We’re stuck by a bridge because they are closing it for repairs. Do you think the bus driver knows to find an alternate route instead of trying to cut through the river? If he ends up in the water, does anyone know if buses float? I don’t recall it being one of those Duck Tour ones. I’m calling the bus company. Will keep you posted. <6:30 AM>
Can someone call the coast guard in case we need to start the rescues? <6:31 AM>
🙏 <6:32 AM>
Anyone? <6:37 AM>
Ok, I just found out someone started a different bus chat. Can one of you share the link? I want to join that one too. <7:00 AM>