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I keep trying to bring up how none of us know our new lines or fit into our new costumes, but Duncan just keeps shouting, “That’s showbiz, baby.”
All mouth-blown, no helium balloon pumps allowed! And when I say “we,” I really mean just me.
We are here to serve scorn and derision, and able to discern the net worth of patrons with a half-second, contemptful glance.
Smiling or otherwise expressive mouse head-shaped pancakes are trademarked.
Every non-union job listing, for companies like BoatSwatch, Amalgamated Hunter, and A.I. Wurxs.
Con: Quite frequently we will have leave during movie night to oversee the search for knights and an exorcist.
“The ABCs” isn’t even a good name. I don’t really see the draw.
Since I’m no longer fixated on my news feed when we go out, I’ve started taking our six rescue dogs with me to the local coffee shop.
Thanks to you and the Magical Musical Mat™, every minute of my life is now a beeping, squawking, nonstop honking nightmare.
Attempt to wash as baby breakfasts upon me and Mr. Franklin inquires as to where I’ve hidden his double spectacles; point to spectacles on Mr. Franklin’s face.
Justice Is Blind follows Clarence Thomas in his delightfully romantic quest to find his new Billionaire Best Friend Forever.
Atheists say there are no higher powers, but the first time you see a Neptoid’s sponges you’ll realize atheists don’t know shit.