$85,000/yr – $120,000/yr · Full-time/Hybrid/Other · Mid-Low-Senior Level Writer
11-50 employees

BoatSwatch, the leader in end-to-end content prediction curation, is seeking an experienced Executive Writer to join our growing team. The primary focus of this role will be to grow our client base and vanquish our competitors with the force of a thousand angry suns. Executive Writer will work closely with our Senior Executive Associate Producer whose job will be a complete mystery and will only appear every third Wednesday on a blurry Zoom that looks suspiciously like a replica of your childhood bedroom from when you were nine.

The ideal candidate will be a catastrophic crier with excellent communication skills and a proven track record in crypto AI diner menu development. They bring extensive experience in commercial, beauty, fashion, and sea shanty-based content with an emphasis on Formula 1 eSports.

Must be proficient in IC live-action peer-to-peer SEO IP and Microsoft SharePoint Workspace/Office Groove. This is a hybrid, work-from-home, in-office, literally-just-getting-out-of-a-movie-during-a-first-date-that’s-going-really-well-but-you-need-to-take-this-call position.

Amalgamated Hunter

$325,000/yr – $420,000/yr · Full-time · Visionary Creative
56-150 employees

Amalgamated Hunter is a visionary modern business platform with over 8 months of proven and profitable strategic experience. As a visionary, YOU will chart the course of what Amalgamated Hunter IS while also possessing the operational acumen to translate that vision into a reality. So what is that vision? You decide. Is Amalgamated Hunter a company that does podcasts? Maybe. You decide. Are we an ad company specializing in branded content for outdoor-focused print media? Who knows? Only YOU can tell US.

You are a passionate leader in the creative tech space and/or maybe you just like drawing things. Perhaps you have a successful track record building digital brands or maybe you’ve got a scheme designed around meme-based synthetic wool socks. Better yet, how about kites? Kites are fun. Do people still fly kites? Listen. We literally have no idea who or what we are, what our values should be or what exactly we’re in the business of doing. Please, just tell us what we do. Service? Sales? Shipping? It’s been 8 months and we just walk around the office from cubicle to cubicle, making uncomfortable small talk. Everyone keeps speaking around it, but no one will say it out loud.

A.I. Wurxs

$4.5-6.5/hour (based on experience) · Remote · Writer
3,000-5,000 employees

Are you interested in helping train AI models to become better writers?!? No? Well too bad, because that’s what we’re fucking doing now. Take it or leave it, Hemingway.

  • Work remotely to help train generative artificial intelligence in the art of creative storytelling. You got a screenplay no one wants to read? Fuck it, might as well take the $65 we’ll pay you to stuff your paint-by-numbers true crime thriller and its bloated 2nd act into our machine-learning algorithm.
  • Great opportunity for those in the fields of copywriting, journalism, editing, poetry, screenwriting, novel writing, and other anachronistic leisure professions.
  • Flexible hours! Input material in between panic attacks or during family holidays where your brother who works in finance shows up in a goddamn Tesla like you’re supposed to be impressed or something. Just fill up our bots with your ideas.
  • All earnings distributed in the form of bored ape NFTs.

At A.I. Wurx, we believe that the transition from traditional storytelling and writing to AI will be a profound shift in how stories are told. But more importantly, it will also be the greatest transfer of wealth in human history, so fuck if we’re just gonna stand by and not skim off the top. Our team is transforming how machine learning can build innovative wealth for our clients which include a bunch of serious heavy hitters we really can’t talk about due to a non-disclosure agreement, but let’s just say they rhyme with “Fetflix,” “Fapple Flus,” and “WarnerMedia.”

We are proud to be an inclusive and diverse workplace, because let’s face it—AIs need to learn how to hit all four diverse audience quadrants when writing a rip-off of whatever dreck Marvel is putting out these days. No one wants an all-white Guardians of Galaxy remix, plus—Tyler Perry, you’re going down. Our newest AI movie bot just finished its 4th Auntie Afina script, Auntie Afina’s Family BBQ and it totally slaps.

Embrace the future. Our future.

Hon Hai Precision Industry Co., Ltd.

$5,000/yr – $8,000/yr (inc. room + board) · Ultra Full-time · “Writing” Associate
250,000-311,500 employees

Are you excited about FUN?!? We believe in bringing PEOPLE together through FUN! More than just the best-in-class systems integrator and multinational electronics contract manufacturer, Hon Hai Precision Industry Co., Ltd. is a leading destination for those looking to shake up that old “work/life” balance. Headquartered in Tucheng, New Taipei City, Hon Hai Precision Industry Co., Ltd. is seeking new writing associates with a passion for electronics, hard work and a unique open-office living experience!

You’ll collaborate shoulder-to-shoulder alongside like-minded visionaries with whom you’ll also share a dormitory-style bedroom! We value hard work, long hours, and QUIET, KEEP CEMENTING! THOSE PHONES WON’T BOND THEMSELVES TOGETHER WITH TOXIC GLUE!

  • Imagine: Waking up and rolling right out of bed which is also your worktable!
  • Imagine: Fully catered meal!
  • Did someone say shower tokens?!?

The ideal candidate exemplifies unrivaled discipline, unparalleled efficiency, and utter desperation.