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Would you like your receipt via text, email, or Gordian Knot full of surveys and "Extrabucks" offers you can’t throw away fast enough?
2. It’s predictable. Wow, 2 came after 1. Just like you expected. It’s dangerous to take anything for granted these days, but that felt pretty good.
We want to extend our deepest gratitude to you for believing in our potato chips. Those other people who didn’t buy our chips can go right to hell.
Marie__LocalHairgirl9: A huge part of my childhood. I skinny dipped in the reactor pool as a teen and since then I’ve had a 60 foot vertical leap.
'Tis a noble tradition, even though I could just as easily say all this to that carrier pigeon X, formerly known as Twitter.
Commercialize your downtime! Not needing to sleep is a HUGE advantage for you.
Here at CamelX our motto has always been: "No one can believe stuff—unless you say it first.”
If they say something like, "Nice cowboy hat, asshole," pretend you didn’t hear—even though you're the only asshole wearing one.
Do not stay on the toilet for extended periods. By minute three or four you’re risking a nasty bite.
You will now need to submit a request through a new app called “Ayyy” where you can send Lorenzo an “Oooo” request which will generate a ticket.
Like our CEO wrote in his “Daily Wake-Up” email, all of our cubicles can be temples of productivity.
"Be hip to the fact that your mains won’t be served at the same time. Of course, they could be, but they won’t be."