Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
Step toward the exit and say, “I’m off to contemplate my own inadequacy in the sculpture garden. It’s performance art in motion.”
There’s a secret to eating well on a tight budget. That secret is to not do it.
Don’t you think it would just be easier to watch this than the actual movie? Trust me, these are the best parts, the rest is just extra.
Records indicate your lawn has not been maintained since 1194 BCE.
You can resume your nap shortly, sir, but right now, this crew needs your support.
10th-grade math teacher: Once a year, on your birthday, you drink a full pint of vodka, walk into your closet, and scream.
Thus my look is doing double duty tonight, I want it to look subtle, yet regicidal– REGAL. Regal is what I did mean.
If you are calling from inside a vehicle sinking into a body of water, press 9, and a transcript of your final words will be faxed to an address you provide.
I have even espied in my continued studying, womyn folk who call forthe the ensorcelled chariots filled with Maccedonaldes.
I am not famous, and my publisher is small, so I didn’t expect the likes of Bernie Madoff or Elizabeth Holmes to come calling.
We all know the cobra has been part of our company since its very beginning, back in that little office over the combined schnitzel house and shoe repair.
You all did see my resume, right? I double majored in Philosophy and Theater at Fordham.