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Get a jump on fall by stripping the leaves off trees in August. Dry your car in nanoseconds. Demolish political lawn signs from hundreds of yards away.
Ope, watch your head there. Cam likes to go in feet-first, but I prefer lying on my side and sliding in with my hands like a walrus.
"Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan" provides New York City with little to do than look menacing and overly grimy.
Install a shower in there so he’s not hogging your family’s only bathroom while you sleep. His hair is always getting clogged in the drain.
Meet amateur fitness enthusiast Mr. David McClure. An impatient and hasty individual who’s convinced himself that winter clothing is no longer a requisite for his morning jog.
Would you look at that… So typical of a Lexus to take up as much room as humanly possible. Total road hog.
I'm pre-approved for a dozen credit cards, but good luck getting to Wells Fargo without being eaten by robins.
’Tis not with ease’d mind that I imbibe of the Friar’s herbaceous blends, be it “Rosaline’s Unrequited Rosehip” or “Zounds! This Lemon Zingeth!”
It's me, the least popular character to break into your home and leave stuff in the name of celebration. Let me lay it out for you.
1 Peter 1:3: "Praise be to bunny Jesus who is always, like, twitching his little nose."
That time you got your first martini at the airport and took a pic for the group chat before tasting it and realizing you hate martinis.
If your “Stubbornness” and “Performative Masculinity” traits are below a combined twelve, Joe will hire a CPA and the level should be a cakewalk.