That time you dropped an entire glass jar of fancy mustard and the splatter looked kind of like the Beats by Dre logo.

That time you went on a date with a massive zit in the middle of your cheek and you wanted to see how bad it looked in the surprisingly harsh lighting of the restaurant so you took a quick selfie while your date was in the bathroom.

That time you saw a dog get hit by a car and decapitated and the car didn't look like it was gonna stop, so you quickly tried to snap a photo of the license plate but mostly just got the dead dog in the frame.

That time they had fuckin' 3D DORITOS at Costco and you hadn't seen those since 1999 so you wanted to send a photo to your childhood best friend who you used to eat these with while watching Red and Stimpy re-runs but then you remembered that she moved to the UK after college when she got a job as a “consultant” (whatever that is) and you don't have her new number, so you send it to her on Facebook Messenger with the message “Remember these??? Miss you so much girlie ❤” where you could see that she read it without replying.

That time your ex-boyfriend Derek was so drunk that he puked on the bus and you took a photo of him slumped over with puke all down his front because you actually never genuinely loved him and thought of him as a joke.

That time you got your first martini at the airport and took a pic for the group chat before tasting it and realizing you hate martinis.

That time you saw a framed Maroon 5 poster in the dumpster behind your office building that would make the perfect birthday gift for your roommate, but wanted to make sure this wasn't the same one she already has hanging in her bedroom.

That time right after you broke up with Derek when you finally started taking your Adderall and organized all your books by color.

That time at work when you took two sticky notes and drew eyes on them and stuck them on your cubicle-mate's computer as a joke but she didn't even end up noticing and actually quit shortly after that leaving you with double the workload.

That time you were at a pool party drunk off sangria on the 4th of July and sent a blurry, unsolicited nude to Derek and then really regretted it the next morning because he thought that meant you wanted to get back together, but really you just felt insecure in your swimsuit and were hoping for some randy compliments.

That time you went to Starbucks for a coffee but the barista told you it was “Frappy Hour” and you thought, what the hell, and got a Strawberry Crème Frappuccino and felt truly happy for a brief moment in time, but then later when you looked back at the picture you zoomed in and saw a tiny hair in the whipped cream that you didn't notice in the moment.

That time you thought the bartender at Dave and Buster's looked like Rob Zombie.


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