Me warn loyal monsters, Angry Mob coming! Angry Mob have pitchforks, have torches of—aaarrgghhh—FIRE! Angry Mob say me crush little village girl. Me not crush! Me hug! When monster famous, little village girl let monster do that! Me not even know any little village girl! Now Angry Mob want to hurt friend Wolfman — good monster, family monster! Wolfman get mad, cry. Make Frankenstein Monster cry too. Frankenstein Monster sad!

Angry Mob hate monsters. Want to make Bavaria like Venezuela! Me not know what is Venezuela, but sure it filled with FIRE! Fire hot! Fire bad! You know who like fire? Hillary Clinton. Lock up! Lock up! Hillary Clinton like fire so much, have private fire all to self in big castle she get from George Soros. Boo, George Soros!

Many monsters say George Soros pay Angry Mob so Angry Mob say bad things about Frankenstein Monster. George Soros steal gold from monsters, drink blood of monster babies! Don’t get Frankenstein Monster wrong—me not hate George Soros because Jew. Me love Jews! Me made of some body parts from Jews! Me have Jew friend Steven Miller, work for me. Me not know what Stephen Miller lock up in dungeon. Me not care. Me tell loyal monsters secret now—Stephen Miller give me creeps.

What else Angry Mob say? Me not pay taxes. Dr. Frankenstein give me big brain of tax attorney, biggest brain in cemetery! Me know everything about making gold. Me pay fair share taxes. Trust Frankenstein Monster! Many monsters not know this — George Soros not pay fair share taxes! He use many loophole, not pay fair share taxes for many years, lose all gold, take big loan from Russian Empire. Wait minute—that me. Forget me say that.

George Soros! He pay media for Fake News! Fake News say it bad thing that me want Bavaria to be good neighbor of Transylvania. Say Dracula sadistic bloodsucking despot. That not true! Dracula not so bad guy. Me have good talk with Dracula, me fall in love with Dracula. Angry Mob not friend of loyal monsters. Dracula friend of loyal monsters!

Fake News say me tell lies about Angry Mob. Me never tell lies, cross heart that once belong to Mitch McConnell. True story! Mitch McConnell living dead! He monster like us! That why he smile so much. Fire—aaaarrgghhh—no kill him! He live forever!

Media say me hate black people! Not true! Me not hate Kanye! If loyal monsters want to hate black Angry Mob people, me OK with it. No, no. Me joke. Maybe. We see. Who else George Soros pay? Justice Department! Federal Bavarian Bureau of Investigation! All corrupt! All Witch Hunt! Don’t get Frankenstein Monster started on witches.

Me telling loyal monsters, vote for monsters! If not vote for monsters, Angry Mob come, take away health care! Me admit, me confused about position on health care. Dr. Frankenstein never charge for pills, so me not sure how works. He just throw switch, reanimate me. I live! I strongest monster in world! I ageless! What me saying? Oh — Angry Mob not real! Only monsters real! Close eyes, Angry Mob go away! But just be on safe side, vote for monsters! If Angry Mob win, will let all kind into Bavaria—will let in socialists and Mummies, take loyal monster jobs away. Angry Mob not respect flag of Castle von Frankenstein!

Angry Mob Lady People worst. So ugly, not like Bride of Frankenstein. Dr Frankenstein build perfect mate for me, so beautiful, so smart, such nice body. Wait, me almost forgot wife. She OK too. But Angry Mob Lady People — nobody want them! That why they take George Soros gold, make up lies about monster men, say they touch them. Me not touch them with ten-foot pitchfork! Me hate them like me hate FIRE. Aaaarrgghhh! Me tell you, this scary time to be monster. Very scary time.