Step Five: Start having doubts about your tattoo, which is looking more and more like a colorable stencil on a paper placemat for kids
In Paris, we cry. In Paris we drink too much and enter the wrong apartment, accidentally sleeping in the wrong bed. That’s Paris.
Now, I should say that I don’t speak Spanish, but I do speak un poquito Spanish. Is that bueno with everyone?
A Conversation Between German Chancellor Angela Merkel and the Guy with a Mask Dangling from One Ear at the Speed-N-Go
My mask's jerky hole? Yes, what’s that? It’s a hole for eating jerky. I don’t think that works. Please don’t. Oh, you’re showing me already.
Have a visible breakfast of two croissants, orange juice, and a glass of red wine on Zoom. Complain how you had to make the croissants by hand.
How am I supposed to get people to think I’m cultured and experienced if I don’t have the selfies with European landmarks to prove it?
Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day! It Was Built in Two, and We at Romulus & Remus Builders Can Do the Same for You
Have you been sculpting a triumphal arch, but can’t nail the reliefs? Are you hammering away at that sarcophagus, but the measurements are all off?
Argentina = Sayonargentina / Ireland = Expireland / Israel = Wasrael / Italy = Quitaly / Portugal = Deportugal / Qatar = Qatar Loose
Here-Straight-From-Military Guy: Has probably already committed war crimes. Drinks water out of a milk-gallon container.
Flying machine release date / Signs thy husband doth disrobing thy house maid / How to disrobe thy house maid / Paintings of breasts nearith me
I’m not some lame meme for TikTok. I’m a piece of art, dude. I live here! In a museum! Where do you live? A shared one-bedroom in Bushwick?
Fetsfermönee - The act of drafting a tweet about selling pictures of your feet, then deleting it because your mother follows you.