Behold! Der American Adventures of Das EuroDad!
Mein gott, his calves are whiter than the snowcapped peaks of the Swiss Alps. Achtung, baby!
Tag: Europe
Dear Wikipedia Readers, We’ll Get Right to It: We Need Your Money
That should say “eight million." I guess you could pay somebody to fix it or—wait, we do that for free, all for the cost of a cup of coffee, don’t we?
Word Problems for Millennial Post-Grad Trips
Steven, traveling solo, wants to post an Instagram of his ravioli. But Germany is 6 hours ahead, so he risks his picture bombing if he posts it now.
A Recruitment Letter from the Williams College Combat Juggling Team
I caught your last prep school match against Groton, and let me be plain: you are a truly gifted combat juggler, a “once-in-a-century” talent.
Honest Engagement Cards
I know we aren’t particularly close, but we do have a ton of friends in common, which means it would be a lot of fun for me to go to your wedding.
Real Estate Listings for Greenland, Britain, The White House, and More
Over two million square kilometers of sparsely populated land makes for an ideal getaway for those times when you really want to be alone.
Sports Quotes Informed by Political Philosophy
"That ball was on the line! And the whole question of borders comes from an outmoded hermeneutic treating the nation-state as a discreet actor."
“23 and Me” Revealed a Painful Truth: I’m Actually My Parent’s Child
I am the genetic material of two people who cut coupons, enjoy bird watching, and decorate their home with "live, laugh, love!" signs from TJ Maxx.
Letters Home From a World War One Fuck Boy
Apparently, we were supposed to defend against an incoming force. But what were we supposed to do, not go party? Saturdays are for the boys!
Love in the Time of Cutlery
“Hey gorgeous,” knife said to fork. That trim bastard put the cut in cutlery. “Weird night,” said knife. “I buttered some bread, and that was it."