Fool me three times, there’s a little bit of shame to go around here. Admittedly, maybe I should have caught on to your character by now.
On this side, perhaps a breathtaking view of a rugged mountain range soaring up majestically in the distance? Nope, just trees.
“I was intrigued by the mention of fly fishing on your profile. I like fly fishing too!” “Wow! Let me show you a picture of this fish I caught.” “Fish?”
Follow-Up Questions About Your Answer to the Security Question “Who Was Your Childhood Best Friend?”
PARTIALLY CORRECT. Trapper Keepers were rad. However, Krista never “shared” one with you.
Take a deep breath, relax, and let the current of "Ocean River Stream" carry you to notes of Mediterranean sex butter and unwashed ambrosia.
Strategic Rips and Tears in the Packaging: Claim that the present must have gotten damaged in transit due to it being shipped from a far-away exotic place, like Hartford.
I think we can all agree: it is odd how a single (accidental text message / vote with my fellow Cardinals) can change the course of history
Taurus sun is grounded and earthy. I did hear it spreading a rumor that you lied about meeting Joey Fatone though.
Suddenly, I was all she could talk about: “He’s been compared to a modern-day Brando, you know,” I overheard her telling her sister on the phone.
A common bedroom reno tip is to take a fancy trash can—like that gaudy, twisting, fuchsia disaster that Rachel bought—and flip it upside-down.
"How smart can this so-called Smartwater be if it allowed itself to get trapped in a bottle like that?" —The Twainster
"The cat is sleeping right now. Use your quiet voice." / He’s not, but he’s 107 in people years. Stop screaming in his face.