Strategic Rips and Tears in the Packaging: Claim that the present must have gotten damaged in transit due to it being shipped from a far-away exotic place, like Hartford.
I think we can all agree: it is odd how a single (accidental text message / vote with my fellow Cardinals) can change the course of history
Taurus sun is grounded and earthy. I did hear it spreading a rumor that you lied about meeting Joey Fatone though.
Suddenly, I was all she could talk about: “He’s been compared to a modern-day Brando, you know,” I overheard her telling her sister on the phone.
A common bedroom reno tip is to take a fancy trash can—like that gaudy, twisting, fuchsia disaster that Rachel bought—and flip it upside-down.
"How smart can this so-called Smartwater be if it allowed itself to get trapped in a bottle like that?" —The Twainster
"The cat is sleeping right now. Use your quiet voice." / He’s not, but he’s 107 in people years. Stop screaming in his face.
Wounded Keyboard Warrior Project – Provides ergonomic computer interfaces for patriots injured in online political arguments.
My Princeton hoodie, whose drawstrings are connected to my arms, so if you pull them you can turn me into your personal puppet.
Becoming by Michelle Obama - A brief history of the bureaucratic red tape Michelle had to jump through to change her last name from Robinson.
Alternative facts are just as good as regular facts. Better, even, because the only limit is your imagination!
If there’s not enough pollution in the air to do serious damage to your lungs, doctors will suddenly find themselves out of work.