Jack and Leslie’s wedding will have more than 200 guests, but less than 300. The men will all be wearing tuxedos, and the women will all be wearing dresses that are either blue, green, or black. If they all stand together for a group photo, how many of them will be wearing masks?

True or oh my god OH MY GOD please let it be false: the flower girl just sneezed on the wedding cake.

Hannah’s bridal party consists of five people: Melissa, Ashley, Penelope, Courtney, and Rachel. When they each walk toward the altar, the order must be as follows: Ashley must be ahead of Courtney, Courtney must always be third, and Penelope must either be first or last. If Rachel is second and immunocompromised, why is she here?

Keith and Lauren feel it’s necessary to have a wedding so Keith’s highly religious father will approve of them living together. If Keith’s dad were to choose between his son having pre-marital sex or spreading a potentially fatal virus to 80 friends and loved ones, how quickly did he choose having the wedding?

Like millions of Americans, Greg lost his job because of COVID-19. Without a stable income or pandemic relief, should he pay his utilities this month or send his friend the only remaining item on their wedding registry, a salad spinner, which is somehow even more expensive than his electric bill?

With regard to the previous question, how could a salad spinner cost $160? Please show your work.

April is a nurse and the maid of honor in her childhood friend Jill’s wedding. April has one week of PTO left for the year, but if she attends the wedding she must take two weeks of PTO to quarantine before returning to work in the ICU. Will Jill be angrier at A) the government’s inability to control a pandemic B) the government’s indifference toward worker’s rights or C) April, for being so fucking selfish.

“Social distance” is defined as keeping a minimum of six feet between persons. The wedding standard, Marcia Griffith’s “Electric Slide,” demands a dance radius of two feet for optimal group performance. Chad has a dry cough and no rhythm, yet insists on joining the group. How many “boogie woogie woogies” will it take for Chad to contaminate the dance floor?

Eric and Tom spent $8,000 on a caterer, $5,000 on a photographer, and $10,000 on a venue. If all of their deposits are refundable, why do they insist on trying to kill their grandparents?

Sofia and Rich are having a destination wedding in Las Vegas. If 40% of the guests are from Florida, 30% are from Mississippi, and 30% are from South Carolina, what is the probability that their hotel will become ground zero for COVID-20?

Each wedding guest can only pick one option for their dinner: chicken, beef, or vegetarian. Nancy will only eat what Margaret orders and Margaret will only eat what Nick orders. If Nick is currently in the hospital fighting COVID-19 without insurance, what will Nick’s children eat?

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